Friday, June 5, 2015

I Said I Wasn't Going to Be That Girl, but...

   I know I said I wasn't going to Oprah out on you, but here's the deal... I wrote a great blog (in my opinion) about something I discovered about myself this week, that might interest some of you. I'll get back to my favorites next time, but check this out!  

[Sidenote]:  What I say Oprah" out on you, I mean when Oprah decided to get fit, she obsessed about it. Every episode was about weight loss & her personal path.  It just got redundant and a little self centered. I promise I won't do that! ha ha

I'm really having a great week! I was having a pretty hard time (mentally) with this whole "weight loss" thing, over the past few weeks, because after losing 7lbs at my first weigh-in I haven't lost anything since. I know that one of motivators (from my past experience with losing large amounts of weight) has been seeing the numbers decrease. It takes every bit of your strength to keep going the week after you've busted your butt to work out, and you see nothing on the scale. It takes that strength x10 to get on the scale 3 consecutive times & see nothing or numbers so varying that you don't know what you actually weigh. I think THAT might be the most frustrating part-- when you get on the scale the first time, and it said you lost weight. Then you get on a second time to make sure... then it says you've gained 4lbs... Just to say you've gained 2lbs the next time, just to say you've lost 4lbs the fourth time! That's the time when I just assume I didn't lose anything and stick with the same number I had previously & pray that next week's weigh-in will be more accurate. But Below is the article that I read that changed my mindset. It was super-encouraging to me!! Read about it HERE!

Next... I came to a realization that is really going to help me keep moving. One of the most frustrating things about working out, is the fact that I've "done this" before. Depression stripped all the hard work I had done away. People who have never had weight issues don't get how that can sometimes affect your weight... But one of the things that used to hold me back is KNOWING how much work it is to lose a significant amount of weight. Today, I had a revelation. I need to look at my 75lb weight loss the same way as my past 30lbs weight losses. Before I really felt successful in weight loss, 30lbs would usually be where I'd tap out. Several things would change (mentally) for me. I'd either feel like I could (slack off) miss a day or two, etc in working out, because I had established a routine -OR- what's even weirder, I'd begin to see some changes, and get freaked out & stop. I was surprised to see that I could identify with Bruce "Caitlyn" Jenner's same reaction to his plastic surgery to be transgender. There's something about altering your body (either naturally or cosmetically) where you get to the point that you say, "What the heck did I do?" I had to push pass that feeling last time, which is when I realized that I (subconsciously) did that. 


The thing that I realized this time around, though- is that I have to "let that go". While I can gain inspiration from the fact that I've lost a large amount of weight before, I can't keep looking back at it like it's any different than all the times I lost & regained 30lbs. The reality is, I put that 75lbs on a pedestal, as if it was insurmountable to obtain that success again. It's not true. I CAN do this again, even though I told myself that the last time was going to be my "one shot" in doing this (because I was determined to succeed, last time). The one thing that I can take with me, is that it wasn't because of my own general laziness or mental collapse that I regained that 75lbs+. A secession of many tragic life events eventually lead me to succumb to depression & gain all of it back. That's absolutely different than what it was in the past. So, I will fondly say goodbye to that 75lbs, and knock it off the pedestal. I have far more weight to lose, now, and if I keep it [on the pedestal] I won't have the 100% devotion to this new amount I need to lose. I can chew the meat & spit out the bones with that 75lbs. I can learn from my past experience, but that's all it is. It's just an indicator that I can & will do better this time. I have nothing standing in my way, but myself! 

  That's all for this week, folks!  Hope you enjoyed! Let me know in the comments! 

No comments:

Post a Comment