Friday, June 19, 2015

Tears for Charleston

Biggest Tragedy:   Charleston Shooting


     I posted the above MEME on my social media page regarding this, and it was a little more snarky & less explanation for what I really meant. So, I wanted to just say it in my own words, so there's no confusion.  Our world still has plenty of Race Issues.  Read this article that explains so much... and guess what? It's written by a Caucasian gentleman who gets the plight of Americans of color.  The sad part is, the more we ignore & get defensive about it the more things get worse or stay the same. When you put your head in the sand and say things like "don't make everything black & white"... etc it's basically running away from the issue that people of color are still framed differently in America-- either for good or bad. Part of it is the fault of the minority for times where "the Race Card" was played during a time when something wasn't actually racist or riots are incited for negative reasons (it's broadcast entirely differently when it goes on at sporting events...but I digress)

      Dylann Roof went out and slaughtered 9 people who were in a Bible Study.... Reading, praying & singing... His motives were absolutely racist.,, His friend that was interviewed even said that it was racially motivated... Yet you have folks who immediately try to blame it on a "Mental Disorder" & "Drugs"... You've got a judge calling Roof's family "victims" in a room full of the church  victims; absolutely inconsiderate... And instead of outrage, I see a) minimizing b) condolence & sympathy c) passiveness d) excuses... e) silence... f0 Some outrage...

        The problem is, the verbiage is changing.  The media tries be a little more "discreet" about what exact words they use, now. People don't even realize that they're being tricked into perpetuating stereotypes & prejudices. The "N-word" has been replaced by words like "Thug and Terrorist". Quick- what image pops into your mind when someone says "thug or terrorist"??  Raise your hand if you thought "Black & Asian Indian/Muslim"... Good for you if it wasn't- but I would have to say that even people of color have those same images, because those are the pictures you see when talking about "thugs & terrorists"...

     Instead of eliminating the N-word from our vocabularies, people are assigning new meanings to old words. You do that by throwing certain words around certain situations, and minimally using them in others.., (that's why I posted the MEME)...The media needs to call ANYONE who does such heinous crimes the same words & describe them with the same passion & disgust, not make excuses for them or blame another issue. Even when riots happen, all people want to talk about are the businesses and vandalism.... Not the quiet pacifism that occurred days before or the life/lives taken. Not that I agree with rioting, but people seem to ignore the fact that rioting is a direct result of injustice. The problem is, the media doesn't want to show it UNLESS there's commotion.  It was boring for them to do coverage on groups of folks doing peaceful protests for days on end, but as soon as people started busting stuff up, they paid it attention.There is not equal attention to equal crimes.  Injustices where there is video/audio evidence of someone being compliant, yet somehow they still get killed? Those things are swept under the rug, explained away, and police records drawn up to try to further criminalize the deceased.

        Everyone wants to look at civil rights injustices as a thing of the past, but even then, people weren't acknowledging what was really going on.  In the documentary "White Like Me", they interview a woman (from 1957, I believe) who "couldn't understand why the Negroes were so angry..."  They didn't have the same opportunities, were hung, were segregated, spit on, fought housing biases, killed, publicly humiliated and had dogs sent on them... but "she didn't know why they were angry"... SMH

      I do believe that in general, people want to live in a color blind society. One day, it might be true, but it won't be until people start playing on an even field.  The worst enemy of our society when it comes to race issues is to ignore that they even exist & to pretend that everything is just random or coincidence.  No- it's not all of [any race] who should pay for the crimes of individuals. There are many White people, Latino people, Black, Jewish, Greek, Italian people I love across the board... But at the end of the day, we'll never be able to grow if people continue to stay blind to the subtle ways that keeps this kind of thing current news instead of a thing of the past. I have a family, and it's entirely frightening to think that my brothers or sisters or parents could befall such a fate, simply because of their skin and another's sin.

Here's an honest statement from a lady I respect... She's not ignoring the problem or trying to quiet people's outrage.  She's not trying to explain things away.  She's just being honest and at least admitting that this is hard for everyone... It's this kind of honesty & acknowledgement that moves the nation.

I am afraid to talk about racism for fear of doing it wrong.
I'm afraid I'll start a conversation I'm not prepared for, afraid I'll misuse the language of privilege and oppression, afraid I'll offend someone.
But I'm not afraid I'll be murdered on the street, or shot at the park, or slaughtered in a Church for the color of my skin... So it's been easy to stay quiet.
To be honest, I still don't know what to say, but I can't keep saying nothing while my neighbor is terrorized by Hate and Violence. I was born white, but not silent.
Racism exists. I won't ignore it.
I won't ignore YOU.

Friday, June 5, 2015

I Said I Wasn't Going to Be That Girl, but...

   I know I said I wasn't going to Oprah out on you, but here's the deal... I wrote a great blog (in my opinion) about something I discovered about myself this week, that might interest some of you. I'll get back to my favorites next time, but check this out!  

[Sidenote]:  What I say Oprah" out on you, I mean when Oprah decided to get fit, she obsessed about it. Every episode was about weight loss & her personal path.  It just got redundant and a little self centered. I promise I won't do that! ha ha

I'm really having a great week! I was having a pretty hard time (mentally) with this whole "weight loss" thing, over the past few weeks, because after losing 7lbs at my first weigh-in I haven't lost anything since. I know that one of motivators (from my past experience with losing large amounts of weight) has been seeing the numbers decrease. It takes every bit of your strength to keep going the week after you've busted your butt to work out, and you see nothing on the scale. It takes that strength x10 to get on the scale 3 consecutive times & see nothing or numbers so varying that you don't know what you actually weigh. I think THAT might be the most frustrating part-- when you get on the scale the first time, and it said you lost weight. Then you get on a second time to make sure... then it says you've gained 4lbs... Just to say you've gained 2lbs the next time, just to say you've lost 4lbs the fourth time! That's the time when I just assume I didn't lose anything and stick with the same number I had previously & pray that next week's weigh-in will be more accurate. But Below is the article that I read that changed my mindset. It was super-encouraging to me!! Read about it HERE!

Next... I came to a realization that is really going to help me keep moving. One of the most frustrating things about working out, is the fact that I've "done this" before. Depression stripped all the hard work I had done away. People who have never had weight issues don't get how that can sometimes affect your weight... But one of the things that used to hold me back is KNOWING how much work it is to lose a significant amount of weight. Today, I had a revelation. I need to look at my 75lb weight loss the same way as my past 30lbs weight losses. Before I really felt successful in weight loss, 30lbs would usually be where I'd tap out. Several things would change (mentally) for me. I'd either feel like I could (slack off) miss a day or two, etc in working out, because I had established a routine -OR- what's even weirder, I'd begin to see some changes, and get freaked out & stop. I was surprised to see that I could identify with Bruce "Caitlyn" Jenner's same reaction to his plastic surgery to be transgender. There's something about altering your body (either naturally or cosmetically) where you get to the point that you say, "What the heck did I do?" I had to push pass that feeling last time, which is when I realized that I (subconsciously) did that. 


The thing that I realized this time around, though- is that I have to "let that go". While I can gain inspiration from the fact that I've lost a large amount of weight before, I can't keep looking back at it like it's any different than all the times I lost & regained 30lbs. The reality is, I put that 75lbs on a pedestal, as if it was insurmountable to obtain that success again. It's not true. I CAN do this again, even though I told myself that the last time was going to be my "one shot" in doing this (because I was determined to succeed, last time). The one thing that I can take with me, is that it wasn't because of my own general laziness or mental collapse that I regained that 75lbs+. A secession of many tragic life events eventually lead me to succumb to depression & gain all of it back. That's absolutely different than what it was in the past. So, I will fondly say goodbye to that 75lbs, and knock it off the pedestal. I have far more weight to lose, now, and if I keep it [on the pedestal] I won't have the 100% devotion to this new amount I need to lose. I can chew the meat & spit out the bones with that 75lbs. I can learn from my past experience, but that's all it is. It's just an indicator that I can & will do better this time. I have nothing standing in my way, but myself! 

  That's all for this week, folks!  Hope you enjoyed! Let me know in the comments!