Thursday, April 2, 2015

Sometimes It Pays To Be That Girl...

   I love to write- I hope you love to read... lol. I noticed that at times it gets a bit lengthy-- but always feel free to skip a topic you may not be interested in or if it [undoubtedly] gets long-winded.  I'm very diverse in my interests, so I'm sure there will be something at some time, you're gonna wanna read! Some of it is quirky, some personal, some just a hobby! I am just happy that so many of you come to visit me! Thank you! 
This week:  

Favorite Outfit:  Paris 2015 Street Fashion

      Spring is here! While we say that very "loosely" here in the Midwest, technically it's true, and it's time to start getting excited about warmer weather! Womenz Mag featured an exciting article about what people are wearing in Paris this Spring. Street style has always been one of my favorite genres of fashion, because it's often so creative, fun, edgy, with a sense of comfort & casualness, as well. I'm a fan of fun fashion that doesn't "try too hard". I think one of the tackiest looks is when it's obvious that someone spent WAY too much time into their look. It should be effortless, but still show you care, right?
      If I had the body for it, this would've been my first outfit of Sping. When I look at this outfit, all I can think of is "but where would my boobs go?" *Sigh* #BustyGirl Problems. Maybe one day- but not today. I love this outfit for many reasons. It's sexy without being trashy- it's colorful without being gaudy, it's got the cutest sandals that are actually nude "shooties" if you look up close. This means more support when you're walking on the busy streets. I've walked in heels/sandals in the big cities (and let's face it,it's the same feeling if you go to the Mall), and one of the worst things to have happen is for a flimsy shoe to break! I try to always carry some kind of back up in my purse (ballet flats or flip flops), but still- sometimes you  can get into trouble. These sandals give the illusion of feminine, delicate sandals with the structure and the appeal of a walkable shoe.

   Also, I love a good A-line skirt. It is ideal for most body types & does a lot of favors for problem areas.... or overall "problems", lol.  I love this midi or "tea" length, as well. It really depends on exactly where the skirt cuts me off (#shortgirl problems) but tea length gowns can be altered to make most women look amazing! What kinds of styles are you loving this season?

Favorite Feeling:  Closure

    I finally got the final piece of what I've been waiting for, for awhile.  It's no secret that I had a really hard time getting over my last [major] Ex.  To those raggamuffins who don't really fit into "your plan", it's really easy to let them go [ and even more so when they turn out to be the absolute 180 of what you require, lol]- but when you think you've found a guy who fits into your plan- and it turns out you don't fit into his (as you were lead to believe), it's sometimes an entire "process" until you finally get to a place where you've finally put it to bed for good.   I've written about it, a couple of times, because I know a lot of you can relate... Even though I can say that I am mostly "over" the situation, there has always been a small part of me that has continued to mourn the loss of that person, life, & the direction I thought we were heading...the dreams that  felt smashed, when it all ended. But, sometimes it pays to be "that girl"...  and investigate.  That's usually not my style, especially when it's clear that we're done, but it does have it's advantages, at times.

       For so long I tried blocking that part of my life out of  the picture afraid of further damage. I am a firm believer in "Don't go looking for answers you don't want to know or things you don't want to find..."   But sometimes you do need to have the missing pieces, because "out of sight, out of mind" does not always work, under these circumstances.. . Let's just say, that I feel like that small part of me can finally be healed, now.  It's the part that couldn't be filled by any other guy-- but only that specific guy filling in the gaps for me. It's sad to have the reality that he felt it necessary to acrimoniously eviscerate me.   Although he handled the situation horribly, and I became a casualty in his conquest for happiness, at least he seems to have found what he was looking for.  I don't say that with any malice or sarcasm, whatsoever.  I was able to realize that I truly meant it when I said, "I want him to be happy, even if it's not with me." People often say things like that because it sounds poetic, pretty, or noble- but they find out differently, when faced with a test.  I'm truly at peace that he might be happy in the decision he made. It would suck to mess up the good thing we had for something that wasn't going to last, or something that wasn't even worth it.  And more than that- it would've been harder for me to deal with, had he tried to reappear after going ghost on me, years prior.  Men have a funny way of doing that, right?  There are men who I've known for years that still like to pop up at random times. It's so weird, lol.

    There are a lot of unanswered questions that don't really matter now, and it's a relief to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. You can only go so far alone, when it comes to things like that.  I have never wished him any ill will or ever said that he was a "bad guy". He absolutely wasn't, he just made a lot of hurtful decisions, pertaining to me. If it was the best [although sloppy] decision for him, fine- but it's just sad that in life, sometimes it means that you end up hurting people you say you love.. Love can be one of the most beautiful things in life, but with anything that great comes a great risk, as well.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time. And always one more time.” 
                                      -Maya Angelou.

   I'm thankful that God made me a strong woman, because I'm not sure a weaker woman would've been able to endure the dark emotional state I was in for that first year, as a result of the things that happened that year and also things I did to myself in the wake of it all. As much as it's felt like I've given up on love in my mind [at times], I don't think I've ever really done it in my heart. I look forward to the day when a new chapter begins for real. I'm just  kind of tired of all the false starts, though...

Favorite Truth:  I Can't...

        I'm in need of something to Un-Blah my life, at the moment.  I'm blessed to have a job & one that I've had for so long (12yrs)... but at some point, as you're standing in front of a copier, you start thinking, "Is this it? How many years of my life have I wasted standing in front of a copier?... "  I feel like I'm seriously having a Bridget Jones moment, here.  There are definite pluses to being in my position and not being "tied down"--- but if you're already a pretty grounded person, by nature, it's not really that necessary to be "tied down"-- you're not hovering that far, you know?

      On a day to day basis, I'm not bored. I am rarely bored- I can always find something to do-- but it's just looking at my life as a "big picture" and not really seeing any "life-changing" events (for the positive) since my High School Graduation.  It's like, day after day, I see the same people, do the same things, go the same places... And because of the stage of life I'm in, there's not always a handy pool of friends to enjoy new experiences with, that are equally as available.

       In the summer of 2014, I moved to another apartment, after living in the same place for 9yrs, and I wouldn't trade that decision for the world... but there is something to be said for "crazy"... at least "crazy" isn't boring,  If I could levitate above crazy, watch crazy, and not be affected by "crazy", then that would be perfect. It would be Reality TV 3D.   I try not to compare my life to others' but at the same time, it's hard when everyone else seems to rate their life's fulfillment status on the activities of their kids/husband...  So, if you have neither, you're pretty much left with only a few options...Either become absorbed in some kind of past time or your life constantly making changes- for example: always moving, going out, or changing friends...or become that dutiful friend who is the best listener, supportive, and an advocate for your friends & their families... or spending time after work writing in blogs about how much you need a change of pace.  (I tend to bounce through many of these, on occasion)... The solution or me, is to plant things to look forward to in the future. Long weekend trips are always fun & concerts. The summer I went to see Bruno Mars  & Boyz II Men was so much fun.  Looks like I need to get in that mode, again.

Favorite Event:  Wrestlemania 31 

    So, I'm a little bummed that I didn't get to actually see Wrestlemania 31.  I was even considering doing the $65 pay-per-view, until I realized that my satellite provider has been in negotiations about prices with the network, and wasn't offering it at this time.  I called about 5 or 6 sports bars and NADA... I had a friend who has the WWE Network, but I guess that fell through. But from what I can gather from this week's RAW- it was an exhilarating event that you didn't want to miss. It's been a week, so I think it's safe to talk about it (my picks are in red; Championships in blue):

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (*sigh*):  Duked it out for the World Heavyweight Title, when Roman was on the verge of winning, Seth Rollins decided to cash in his Money in the Bank contract, changing the entire course of the title. He beat the challenger (Reigns) and NOT the titleholder (Lesnar) and still ended up with the title. This was said to be the first time anyone has cashed in a Money in the Bank at a Wrestlemania.

John Cena vs. Rusev:  John Cena was the first WWE Superstar to beat Rusev, the Bulgarian  basher. He broke his signature move (The Accolade) and brought the United States Championship back to America!

There was also a Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship belt with a whole mess of guys... R. Truth, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Stardust, Wade Barrett, and maybe another dude or two (not relevant)..  Daniel Bryan ended up walking away with the championship-- and although I like Daniel Bryan for his heart, I get a little bored with his wrestling style.  In fact, they need a new choreographer, because it's getting so predictable.   Half the time when watching my shows, I sit there like "how does he ' not know' that he's setting up for such & such move? He does it every time!"

Andre the Giant  Memorial Battle Royal Winners:  The Big Show
Diva's Tag Team Winner:  AJ Lee & Paige

   Those were the main matchesI could remember off the top of my head being played during Wrestlemania. Monday's Raw was exciting, because Roman Reigns (who should've been the Heavyweight Champion) was able to defeat Seth Rollins, even though it wasn't a title match, and Daniel Bryan was called out for a re-match with Dolph Ziggler to retain his new Intercontinental Title (which he did).

That's it for today, folks! It's been a truly cathartic week, to say the least! Post what you think about "stuff" in general. I love your feedback! And don't forget to subscribe! 


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