Friday, April 24, 2015

"Screw You, Caitlyn!"

   So glad this week has come to an end! There is a bed with my name on it, some movies that need to be watched,  some books that need to be read, and some sunshine that needs to be basked! Check out this week, with Tiffani Sharice! :)  

Favorite Pet Peeve:  Early Morning... anything! 

    Before we get into the good good, I have to vent about my House Church sending me early morning texts… People- It’s really not my thing. I literally think someone died if anyone texts me before 9am… It just doesn’t make for a very good start to my day… 7:30am is not my “Holiest” part of the day… So imagine my dissatisfaction when I was woken up by 4 group texts from Caitlyn about what she was reading in her Bible that morning… and then 2 subsequent texts from other respondents… “Oh, thank you Caitlyn, thank you…" “Thanks, Caitlyn, you’ve blessed me this morning”…and I was like “Screw you, Caitlyn, screw you!!”  I mean seriously- I am making a point to request that they keep the encouragement between 9am-9pm... I think it's common courtesy, don't you??? I will ask for forgiveness later, but you can be sure it’ll be after 9am... 

Favorite Music:  P!NK

   Can I say... that I'm back in love w/P!nk!!! I was a huge fan in 2000 when her first album Can't Take Me Home came out & literally was my theme album for that year... and upon discovering that she's recently made a folk album (See last week's blog; Rose Ave).  I am just so proud of how strong she is, the example she sets (as far as self esteem, confidence, realness, etc...).  Seeing where she started & the path she was headed, to where she is now literally brought me to tears.  I might be the only woman in the world who has ever cried while watching a video of Lady Marmalade, lol.  P!nk represents a lot of what I believe in- as far as artistry & independence. I don't necessarily agree with everything she does, but love how versatile she is, and how she expresses herself. She's a REAL artist.

Favorite Book:  BossyPants by Tina Fey

     I had to take a break from Sidney Chambers, my favorite English Vicar/Sleuth... His stories are just super long and intense reading... I mean, you really have to be committed to reading about his mysteries.  Books should make you feel like you never want to put it down, but reading this one, I fear your wish might become a reality, lol.  

   So- I picked up BossyPants for some light reading!  It really is a quick read. The first time I picked it up, I read half the book in one sitting.  I've picked it up a few times since, and have hit a bit of a boring snag-- but mainly, I just started reading too late & started falling asleep. So- Tina's book is really interesting. I love reading about folks & their upbringing. It really helps you to get  sense of who they are. Not to mention, I laughed so many times, and that's always a bonus if the book makes you laugh! Check it out!

***  Update:   I finished BossyPants***
       I don't know how she would've gone about it... but I really enjoyed the entire book, outside of her SNL/30 Rock parts of the book... Maybe if I were a bigger fan of those shows, I would appreciate them more- but the biggest parts I enjoyed were of "Tina" being "Tina"... When she talked about her family & growing up and the family she has now, those are the parts I found most fascinating. Overall, I liked 3/4ths of the book a lot and 1/4 not so much... 

Favorite Crush:  Judge Michael J. Ryan

         He might just be the Idris Elba of judges, lol... I was approached by a local non-profit agency to participate in their Foster Care Conference that they're having in June. One of the speakers on the ballot is none other than honorable Judge Michael Ryan.   I read his bio & he has such a compelling story.  He came from many hardships... an abusive step-father and a drug addicted mother.  He went to so many high schools (11) in the inner city, and according to many stereotypes and statistics, there was a strong possibility he wasn't going to be a success... but he overcame those odds, and has a book (that I guess I'm going to have to read, now, lol) to tell about it.  Judge Ryan is married (unfortunately,lol) and lives in Cleveland, OH with his wife and two kids.  He is some eye-candy, though, ain't he?

Favorite Fashion Obsession:  Kimonos!!

      I'm pretty obsessed with these things! Kimonos are a fantastic way to dress up a solid or "basic" wardrobe.  Sometimes you just want a quick & easy outfit and this is it!  It also helps to "cover up" flaws or to effortlessly add color and style to your outfit. Being that Coachella just happened, I thought this would be a great feature!  Most people are wearing them with tanks and jean shorts with "Indy" or Aztec jewelry-- but you can actually wear them so many ways. You can belt them around a shift dress, you, wear them with jeans, over a dress, or even as a cover-up at the beach/pool.  It's also an easy way to try a "loud print" that you may be hesitant to wear, because you can wear solid colors! Take a hint from the Golden Girls & really let your flow show!

Favorite TV Show:  Mary Mary

    I'm loving Mary Mary, right now!  I used to be sickened by Tina & Teddy's new found "Love" but now, I think they're really back to a "normal" mush-free love...  I don't mind PDA, but they really needed to chill a minute. I understand that their love was renewed after infidelity in their marriage, but if someone could tone down the gak factor, I'd really appreciate it!  The biggest thing I love about this show, though-- was that when Tina was able to sit down and really testify about what she's been through, I felt it was a monumental thing for the Christian Community.  I think it says a lot when Christians are able to admit their short-comings and flaws. I love that neither sister puts on a "front" like they're so "holier than thou"... I think that's the message the world misses from Christians. We're not "perfect". We are sinners saved by grace. We are people who believe and are humbled by the sacrifice that Jesus made. It's humility that so many folks still need. You miss the mark when you are so "Christian" that you can't say anything God has done for you, because everything in your life is "Perfect... blessed... highly favored..." and all other "Christian-ese" that folks try to portray.  I love that Tina's story is real. She showed real emotions. She didn't have this little story where a speck of "sin" fell into her life, and she was so devout & holy that Jesus took it away & she was better right away... She shows the real life... how we struggle everyday... and for those of us who have really felt depressed or been severely devastated or hurt by someone else- it's not always easy to Praise Him.  Sometimes, it's just baby steps.  You learn so much through travesty-- and some beautiful things come from being broken, sometimes...

Anywy- that's it for this week! I'm starting my weekend early! Let me know what you think in my comments below! And if you're brave enough to subscribe, I will too! :0) 


Friday, April 17, 2015

Learning From Your Past... Meet Young Tiffani...

  This week, I've been experiencing this amazing rebirth of myself.  I know God's been leading me to really discover & rediscover some things about myself, in order for me to me grow. It's been super amazing, really.  Other than that, I've been enjoying this Spring Weather (when my allergies allow me to, lol) Here's what I've been up to this week:

Favorite Past Time:  Reading My Diaries Circa 1991-1999

   From my life-long promise & vow  to always love New Kids on the Block, to what was going on with my friends, the boys I liked, and even a diagram of the Girl Pop Band I was creating with my friends... I got so much from picking up a diary from 1991.  I was a 5th Grader at Valley Forge elementary, even though I actually had been writing on and off 2yrs prior.  I'm pretty sure I ripped pages out so that I could have a "fresh start..." But in 1991, at 10yrs old, I was really starting to be consistent in writing, and I'm so thankful that I found my love for this early. As you can see- it's stuck with me.

     What I didn't expect is to really re-learn some things about myself.   For one, Little Tiffani had guts! I mean, I'm still pretty gutsy now, but little Tiffani forged her way through life with an independence that is pretty rare in elementary, middle & high schools.  I stood up for my friends, didn't "follow the crowd" when I disagreed with it, and I had my own opinions. I was taught to be an individual, so I guess that's why I don't always relate to this generation of "followers" and people who get validation from getting "Likes" online, etc... I'm proud of young Tiffani for being that way...

   I also realized something else about myself, as well.  I'd rather be stabbed through the heart, than stabbed in the back... I saw on a few occasions where I confronted someone about what they planned to do to me behind my back-- i.e. in my Freshman Year of High School, a "friend" who was going to go behind my back and date the guy I had been flirting with for 6mos.  Looking back, I should've told that heffa to kick rocks, because that's not what friends do. But instead, I wrote her a letter saying  to "go ahead", in order to save our friendship from her betrayal... My mindset was, he'll date her if he wants to. At the time, even though we were just flirting w/each other, I had no "rights" to him per se. He'll choose who he wants, you know?  But for me, as much as I hated the fact that she was going to go for it, I hated more that she was going to do it behind my back. Calling her out on it was a way of controlling my pain, I guess... insulting my intelligence (thinking I don't know) was a double slap in the face. It's funny, though- because that's kind of still "my style". I really do like to lay things on the table... However, now I'm old enough to realize that if someone is going to do that to you, forget them, no matter how long you've been friends.  Even though it may be "Chicks before D***"- as the expression goes, it's not about that at that point- it's about your integrity & respect for yourself.  Some friends aren't worth keeping around.

   Ultimately, I'm just super proud about how I've grown up. Sure, I've made a lot of mistakes, and was naive to certain things... Sure I read some things that had me horrified for little Tiffani (like some of the things a boy asked me to do to him, when I was only 13yrs old!! I didn't even know I knew what those things were, then! lol So glad I had enough class to turn him down...)... But overall, I'm glad that I had guts. I 'm glad I had a good head on my shoulders. And, I'm glad that I was an individual & ignorant of the things that, that [according to my peers] I should've been afraid of doing. I also learned that 1990's music, particularly Salt N Pepa, did me WRONG!!! What in the world?: Don't use that slang, kids, it's so embarrassing! LOL

Favorite Music:  P!NK  Rose Ave. (album)

     This album has solidified my respect for P!NK as an artist! I loved her when she made her debut into the musical world with her first album,  Can't Take Me Home- a sexy R&B Album that was in constant rotation on my radio... Soon after, her Soul/R&B style morphed into a super hyped up Sk8ter Chic/ Rocker feel, and she gave us quirky, fun, funky upbeat Girl power music! Who can forget her funny and semi-sardonic music videos?  And now... she's brought us this gem! It's full of folk music, a whole new side of P!NK.  To me, there's nothing better than an artist who is super-versatile! Check it out!

Favorite Video:   This Couple's Pregnancy Announcement

   I haven't made it to this point in my life, but I'm hoping that when & if that time comes, that I'd be able to come up with something equally as creative!  These are the types of things I love. I don't know if they're the original [it's the first I've seen] but it's a moment that they'll remember forever! I'm excited for them, and I have no clue who they are. I love to see couples who really have fun together! This was just so cute! Congratulations to them!

Favorite Controversy:  Beverly Hills Housewives Season Finale

     As this season came to a close, we saw a very emotionally volatile reunion, especially between Kyle & Kim Richards (pictured above).  There is a lot of deep seated pain and resentment between the two sisters that really needs to be discussed, probably with a counselor.  I think ultimately, Kim needs to let go of jealousy & resentment-- two things that, if left to their own devices, can really tear a human down. I think that she's jealous of Kyle's life. Kyle seems to "have it all"- with the attractive husband who loves her, all the kids, a beautiful house, she & her husband have money, she can be a housewife & has a store simply as "a hobby"-- a lot of folks like her & she is younger than Kim. Meanwhile, Kim has had a steady stream of bad choices, relationships, and now substance abuse.  I also think Kyle "Mothers" Kim, and Kim resents it, being the older of the two. Hopefully, Kim will be able to get herself together... but you can't fix what you don't acknowledge... So, maybe this will be the reality check she needs... and maybe she'll apologize to Lisa Rinna for calling her out, in the first place.

That's it for this week! I'm still reading Sidney Chambers, which is great, but I can't wait until I've finished it! The chapters are seriously long! What're you up to? Leave comments/questions below! 


Thursday, April 2, 2015

Sometimes It Pays To Be That Girl...

   I love to write- I hope you love to read... lol. I noticed that at times it gets a bit lengthy-- but always feel free to skip a topic you may not be interested in or if it [undoubtedly] gets long-winded.  I'm very diverse in my interests, so I'm sure there will be something at some time, you're gonna wanna read! Some of it is quirky, some personal, some just a hobby! I am just happy that so many of you come to visit me! Thank you! 
This week:  

Favorite Outfit:  Paris 2015 Street Fashion

      Spring is here! While we say that very "loosely" here in the Midwest, technically it's true, and it's time to start getting excited about warmer weather! Womenz Mag featured an exciting article about what people are wearing in Paris this Spring. Street style has always been one of my favorite genres of fashion, because it's often so creative, fun, edgy, with a sense of comfort & casualness, as well. I'm a fan of fun fashion that doesn't "try too hard". I think one of the tackiest looks is when it's obvious that someone spent WAY too much time into their look. It should be effortless, but still show you care, right?
      If I had the body for it, this would've been my first outfit of Sping. When I look at this outfit, all I can think of is "but where would my boobs go?" *Sigh* #BustyGirl Problems. Maybe one day- but not today. I love this outfit for many reasons. It's sexy without being trashy- it's colorful without being gaudy, it's got the cutest sandals that are actually nude "shooties" if you look up close. This means more support when you're walking on the busy streets. I've walked in heels/sandals in the big cities (and let's face it,it's the same feeling if you go to the Mall), and one of the worst things to have happen is for a flimsy shoe to break! I try to always carry some kind of back up in my purse (ballet flats or flip flops), but still- sometimes you  can get into trouble. These sandals give the illusion of feminine, delicate sandals with the structure and the appeal of a walkable shoe.

   Also, I love a good A-line skirt. It is ideal for most body types & does a lot of favors for problem areas.... or overall "problems", lol.  I love this midi or "tea" length, as well. It really depends on exactly where the skirt cuts me off (#shortgirl problems) but tea length gowns can be altered to make most women look amazing! What kinds of styles are you loving this season?

Favorite Feeling:  Closure

    I finally got the final piece of what I've been waiting for, for awhile.  It's no secret that I had a really hard time getting over my last [major] Ex.  To those raggamuffins who don't really fit into "your plan", it's really easy to let them go [ and even more so when they turn out to be the absolute 180 of what you require, lol]- but when you think you've found a guy who fits into your plan- and it turns out you don't fit into his (as you were lead to believe), it's sometimes an entire "process" until you finally get to a place where you've finally put it to bed for good.   I've written about it, a couple of times, because I know a lot of you can relate... Even though I can say that I am mostly "over" the situation, there has always been a small part of me that has continued to mourn the loss of that person, life, & the direction I thought we were heading...the dreams that  felt smashed, when it all ended. But, sometimes it pays to be "that girl"...  and investigate.  That's usually not my style, especially when it's clear that we're done, but it does have it's advantages, at times.

       For so long I tried blocking that part of my life out of  the picture afraid of further damage. I am a firm believer in "Don't go looking for answers you don't want to know or things you don't want to find..."   But sometimes you do need to have the missing pieces, because "out of sight, out of mind" does not always work, under these circumstances.. . Let's just say, that I feel like that small part of me can finally be healed, now.  It's the part that couldn't be filled by any other guy-- but only that specific guy filling in the gaps for me. It's sad to have the reality that he felt it necessary to acrimoniously eviscerate me.   Although he handled the situation horribly, and I became a casualty in his conquest for happiness, at least he seems to have found what he was looking for.  I don't say that with any malice or sarcasm, whatsoever.  I was able to realize that I truly meant it when I said, "I want him to be happy, even if it's not with me." People often say things like that because it sounds poetic, pretty, or noble- but they find out differently, when faced with a test.  I'm truly at peace that he might be happy in the decision he made. It would suck to mess up the good thing we had for something that wasn't going to last, or something that wasn't even worth it.  And more than that- it would've been harder for me to deal with, had he tried to reappear after going ghost on me, years prior.  Men have a funny way of doing that, right?  There are men who I've known for years that still like to pop up at random times. It's so weird, lol.

    There are a lot of unanswered questions that don't really matter now, and it's a relief to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. You can only go so far alone, when it comes to things like that.  I have never wished him any ill will or ever said that he was a "bad guy". He absolutely wasn't, he just made a lot of hurtful decisions, pertaining to me. If it was the best [although sloppy] decision for him, fine- but it's just sad that in life, sometimes it means that you end up hurting people you say you love.. Love can be one of the most beautiful things in life, but with anything that great comes a great risk, as well.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time. And always one more time.” 
                                      -Maya Angelou.

   I'm thankful that God made me a strong woman, because I'm not sure a weaker woman would've been able to endure the dark emotional state I was in for that first year, as a result of the things that happened that year and also things I did to myself in the wake of it all. As much as it's felt like I've given up on love in my mind [at times], I don't think I've ever really done it in my heart. I look forward to the day when a new chapter begins for real. I'm just  kind of tired of all the false starts, though...

Favorite Truth:  I Can't...

        I'm in need of something to Un-Blah my life, at the moment.  I'm blessed to have a job & one that I've had for so long (12yrs)... but at some point, as you're standing in front of a copier, you start thinking, "Is this it? How many years of my life have I wasted standing in front of a copier?... "  I feel like I'm seriously having a Bridget Jones moment, here.  There are definite pluses to being in my position and not being "tied down"--- but if you're already a pretty grounded person, by nature, it's not really that necessary to be "tied down"-- you're not hovering that far, you know?

      On a day to day basis, I'm not bored. I am rarely bored- I can always find something to do-- but it's just looking at my life as a "big picture" and not really seeing any "life-changing" events (for the positive) since my High School Graduation.  It's like, day after day, I see the same people, do the same things, go the same places... And because of the stage of life I'm in, there's not always a handy pool of friends to enjoy new experiences with, that are equally as available.

       In the summer of 2014, I moved to another apartment, after living in the same place for 9yrs, and I wouldn't trade that decision for the world... but there is something to be said for "crazy"... at least "crazy" isn't boring,  If I could levitate above crazy, watch crazy, and not be affected by "crazy", then that would be perfect. It would be Reality TV 3D.   I try not to compare my life to others' but at the same time, it's hard when everyone else seems to rate their life's fulfillment status on the activities of their kids/husband...  So, if you have neither, you're pretty much left with only a few options...Either become absorbed in some kind of past time or your life constantly making changes- for example: always moving, going out, or changing friends...or become that dutiful friend who is the best listener, supportive, and an advocate for your friends & their families... or spending time after work writing in blogs about how much you need a change of pace.  (I tend to bounce through many of these, on occasion)... The solution or me, is to plant things to look forward to in the future. Long weekend trips are always fun & concerts. The summer I went to see Bruno Mars  & Boyz II Men was so much fun.  Looks like I need to get in that mode, again.

Favorite Event:  Wrestlemania 31 

    So, I'm a little bummed that I didn't get to actually see Wrestlemania 31.  I was even considering doing the $65 pay-per-view, until I realized that my satellite provider has been in negotiations about prices with the network, and wasn't offering it at this time.  I called about 5 or 6 sports bars and NADA... I had a friend who has the WWE Network, but I guess that fell through. But from what I can gather from this week's RAW- it was an exhilarating event that you didn't want to miss. It's been a week, so I think it's safe to talk about it (my picks are in red; Championships in blue):

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (*sigh*):  Duked it out for the World Heavyweight Title, when Roman was on the verge of winning, Seth Rollins decided to cash in his Money in the Bank contract, changing the entire course of the title. He beat the challenger (Reigns) and NOT the titleholder (Lesnar) and still ended up with the title. This was said to be the first time anyone has cashed in a Money in the Bank at a Wrestlemania.

John Cena vs. Rusev:  John Cena was the first WWE Superstar to beat Rusev, the Bulgarian  basher. He broke his signature move (The Accolade) and brought the United States Championship back to America!

There was also a Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship belt with a whole mess of guys... R. Truth, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Stardust, Wade Barrett, and maybe another dude or two (not relevant)..  Daniel Bryan ended up walking away with the championship-- and although I like Daniel Bryan for his heart, I get a little bored with his wrestling style.  In fact, they need a new choreographer, because it's getting so predictable.   Half the time when watching my shows, I sit there like "how does he ' not know' that he's setting up for such & such move? He does it every time!"

Andre the Giant  Memorial Battle Royal Winners:  The Big Show
Diva's Tag Team Winner:  AJ Lee & Paige

   Those were the main matchesI could remember off the top of my head being played during Wrestlemania. Monday's Raw was exciting, because Roman Reigns (who should've been the Heavyweight Champion) was able to defeat Seth Rollins, even though it wasn't a title match, and Daniel Bryan was called out for a re-match with Dolph Ziggler to retain his new Intercontinental Title (which he did).

That's it for today, folks! It's been a truly cathartic week, to say the least! Post what you think about "stuff" in general. I love your feedback! And don't forget to subscribe!