Friday, January 31, 2014

I Can't, With My Blog Today... lol

  OK, so I'm incredibly tired & mentally exhausted. This is how you know I love writing & I love sharing about things I find a bit interesting... BUT! I'm trying to be better at not skipping my blogs-- So here goes!

 Favorite Moment: Catherine & Sean's Wedding... Sort of... lol.

      Ok, Ok... I'll admit it... I was far more invested in Sean & Catherine's wedding than I should have been.  I guess it was the talk of it all year, would they go through with it? Is this Real? Is this a farce? and knowing that it was going to spare no expense! So, they did have a beautiful wedding but there were so many goofy things mixed in that made it hard to be emotional or take it seriously.  For one, I would've been more interested in seeing a shorter section of "prepping" for the wedding, and then the entire wedding & then the reception.  They spent most of the time talking  about how excited they were to be having sex for the first time together,making sexual innuendos, dress shopping, talking about their "Grown Sexy theme" --- what does it mean, will Sean ever understand it??? It was super annoying. Then, after about an hour and a half of that, they show the wedding, where Catherine walks out to Michael Jackson's Human Nature (which I also found odd...) and her vows were really weird and very poetic.  There was a lot of imagery that I think she'll regret when she's older... Somehow, by the end of her vows, all I could think about was Glow worms and heart explosions-- Yeah. That's how weird they were...  Speaking of weird... 


   Their wedding cake looked like a naked Blueberry Muffin... When I first saw it, I thought, "Oh, that looks like an awesome cake for the breakfast/brunch the next morning..."  I literally thought it was a huge stack of blueberry pancakes, or something.  Some couples choose to have a brunch the next day for their out-of-town guests & family who traveled for the ceremony.  I though the cake looked good. It was cute, but I would've passed on this for such a formal wedding... but, I'm not marrying Sean or Catherine, so I guess it's not up to me. I'm at least glad they got what they wanted. 

Favorite Sadness:  Exes Who Don't Get It... 

   Part of the reason I'm so mentally exhausted, is that I got into another round of "I love you, why don't you love me back", with an ex.   He's been asking me this question for going on 9 years, now... NINE YEARS! When we dated back in 2005, he had so much to learn about life & didn't treat me very well. Unfortunately, he didn't have the best teachers & I wasn't going to be one of his teachers, when it came to how to treat a woman.  I broke up with him, not because we couldn't along sometimes, but because I wasn't trying to play "mama" to him.  A woman shouldn't have to pay for everything or worry about you being in & out of jail, lying, etc. It's something I won't sign up for. Sorry...

     Now, it's been 9 years later, and he's matured in a lot of ways, we've stayed friendly-- but at the end of the day, my answer has always been the same. I'm one of those rare people that do not sugarcoat during crucial moments. I took his feelings for me seriously-- and have tactfully said that I was never going to return those feelings. I specifically told him verbatim, "I will never marry you...I don't love you...I never loved you... You need to move on... Leave me alone." He still doesn't get it. Some women play hard to get, but not for 9yrs... And I'm not that type, in the first place.  He doesn't seem to understand why I don't think he truly loves me, which kind of breaks my heart, because I've explained it many times. I've tried military silence- he's shown up at my house unannounced... I let him on FB, so that he wouldn't blow up my cell phone & could stalk my life from afar, without bothering me...I do care about him- I don't hate him. But I know that if someone really thinks they love you intimately, you really can't remain friends. 

     He's got to do it himself, though.  He doesn't understand that loving someone & loving the way they treat you, are two different things. He loved that I was there for him, made him laugh, catered to him, cooked for him, bought him gifts, etc... but at the end of the day, he's clueless about the things that are important to me. Love is a 2-way street, and he's only driving one way.The sad part is, I think that if I did cave, he would treat me 10x better than he did... which would be good for awhile... but as soon as he got comfortable, it'd be the same ol' bs, again. Plus, he's made a lot of life decisions that didn't include me, and really left no room for me to have anything I want in the future. It would never have been equal. I'd always be on a different page than him. It sucks. I hate breaking someone's heart, but at the end of the day...  "I'm am responsible for what I say... I'm not responsible for what you understand..." 

Favorite Heartwarm: Jim & Pam's Wedding, The Office

   Even though I didn't get to cry at Sean & Catherine's wedding, I did cry at Jim & Pam's wedding! (The Office). I finally got to season 6, where they finally get married. I know I slept on this show... but I'm glad I gave it another shot. I love their love. It's sad that a made up tv show was more touching than a real life wedding, but it was- quirks & all.  If you haven't seen it, than DON'T WATCH!! But who am I kidding? I'm probably the only one who would care, that is just now seeing this, lol. Anyway- this is one of my favorite episodes, and I'm glad they took such care with it. 

Favorite Art Piece:  Pin Ups- Damsels in Dilemmas by Gil Elvgren

     This is definitely one of my favorite styles in Pin-Up Culture! I love the "almost sexy" or "Suggestively sexy over the "Obviously Sexy", for the most part.  I think that is part of Pin-up Culture that is missing, from a lot of Rockabilly lovers, these days. There are a lot of women who are  covered in tattoos, always in lingerie, and posed seductively. Those can be fine too, but my favorites are the softer, sexy images. There are TONS of people who will get seriously offended, when I say that I'm not a fan of the full-body tattoo covered Pinup girls, as much as the ones that have less or no tattoos showing, but I don't care. I don't mean to offend anyone. I have tattoos & want more, myself-- My point is, I feel like it takes something away from the demure or coquettish look, same thing goes when it's overly sexy.  I have learned immensely & respect those Dolls who are covered in tattoos, there's no love lost...They make amazing pictures, but I still say, you can't go wrong with a classic. It just seems a little more authentic. I think I'd be able to identify more, if a Modern pin-up, covered in tattoos, were being a secretary & using a laptop or something. To me, that would merge the idea & theme of it better... You know, something with more modern things to back up the look. I'd definitely be able to relate to that more. But for me, part of Pin-ups were about "Show a little & imagine a lot..." but now, it seems there's so little to the imagination. 

   Well, I'm going. I blogged...ya happy?!! lol (just kiddin') I'm just ready to start my weekend! Until next time! 



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