Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sizeism... Where Do People Get Off?



     My co-workers and I were having a discussion at lunch today, about how "Sizeism" seems to be the only "acceptable" form of discrimination today.  It is interesting.  People seem to still turn and look the other way if someone is being harrassed about being over/under weight.  (To be fair, I added "under" weight-- but there's not too many situations where people are getting yelled at down the street, rejected from jobs, snubbed largely by society & different subcultures,  for being too skinny.) It's seriously bothersome, especially since I've struggled w/my weight my entire life.

   Starting this journey (again) has opened my eyes to a lot of new discoveries.  First of, it's 30x better to just be fat, rather than to lose a lot of weight, and then gain it back.    There's such a stigma, judgement & ridicule that comes with someone who is starting over, yet again.  I mean, shouldn't there be some kind of respect for someone who doesn't stay down??? I mean, give me a little credit, right?  There are some supporters, but the reality of it is people are cruel.  They seem to overstep their boundaries more in this area, than in any other type of -ism (in general society, of course). 



   I personally went through the year from Hell, last year-- and gained soo much of the 75lbs that I had lost the year prior.  One thing I learned, is that I never planned to be derailed so much.  Being in the place I'm at right now, has caused me to realize that I should never make assumptions on judgements of people who have been on the yo-yo roller coaster with their weight.  This must be how Oprah feels... For me, it wasn't just that one day I decided to give up.  I was emotionally defeated for a long time.  There were days when it was hard for me to get out of bed and face the world.  "Taking care of myself" came second to me trying to "not want to be dead..." What I realize now, is that it's not always that people 'just stop' sticking to a healthy lifestyle-- Many times, it's much deeper than that; and for those who  had been really successful, even more so.  There's a difference between someone losing 15-30lbs, then falling off... and someone losing almost 100lbs & falling off...  Sometimes life incapacitates you... The misery I faced in 2011 was unprecedented. I hope to never have another like it.  It wasn't like one day I said, "Hey I'm just gonna start eating terribly and never step foot in a gym".  I think society thinks that's what people [who struggle with weight loss] do.  After going through this, and my eyes being open, I will say-- I will never just "assume" that someone who's lossed & gained a bunch of weight- did it simply because "they just gave up".  It's far more emotionally complicated than that...

      I'm determined to do it this time, b/c losing weight (again) is far more critical the second time around.  So many people who knew I had lost weight, and have seen me since I gained some back, have been soo rude!  The disdain in their voices-- blatantly reminding me that I fell off, without regard to what I went through in 2011.  There's such discouragement in their voices.  Some of them act so disappointed, when they're not even fit, themselves!! Some of them haven't stepped foot in the gym, never had a weight problem, and eat junk all day long; But still feel that [since they're thin] that they have "authority" to say rude things.  It adds so much pressure to the day to day. It makes  you feel like you have to justify "what happen..."  What people don't realize, is that most people beat themselves up enough-- regardless of what your flaw is.  Making rude comments for someone trying to lose weight makes it 20X harder for them to do it!  Some people aren't "motivated" by their haters... I could care less about being in competition w/anyone, or what my "haters" are doing. For a lot of people that type of thing motivates them-- not me...   What I don't need, is your mouth, when I've been doing what I know to do... Snide comments, while you don't know that my thighs are bleeding & have band-aids on them, b/c o them chaffing so badly, b/c I just spent an hour and a half- 2hrs  in the gym, trying to get back into my old routine-- that's what I don't need. 

      I'm not overly sensative about many subjects, but people being rude- especially when they don't know you-- is something I get largely irritated about.  You have a right to feel and believe whatever you want.  You can be a racist... you can be a sizeist... You can be homophobic... You can be heterophobic... You can be feminist... You can be a chauvinist etc... but that doesn't make it ok to go out of your way to put others down or make comments to people you don't know.  But for some reason, people seem to think it's ok to make unsolicited comments to overweight people... Wouldn't it be awesome if people had more tact in 2012???