Friday, October 14, 2011

Loyalty Died, Right Along with Chilvary...

     One thing I've learned the last few months, is that loyalty is rare in 2011.  People are so quick to say they love you... They throw it around like a beach ball, filled with hot air.  It bounces from one person to the next without any weight or validity.  I don't know about you, but I have a problem w/the flightiness of the heart....

    I'm not purely talking about romantic love, although I've had my tests with loyalty with that as well; What has spurred me to write about how loyalty has died, is the lack of substance in people's friendships.  One thing I've noticed is that the terms "keeping it real" and "fake" are sooo overly used.  For one-- most people who complain about "fake" people are the ones who think that they, themselves, are more "real" than they really are; when in all actuality, their "real" isn't much more about Passive aggressiveness.  There's a craft in using your words wisely, honestly & effectively.    I think people have lost the definition of what "being fake" or "keeping it real" actually is...  and in essence have lost the meaning of what it means to be loyal & true friends.

     It's a misconception that "keeping it real" is some kind of attitude.  As if you can't "keep it real" without being angry or getting loud with someone; as if "keeping it real" can't happen if you're not saying that you're "keeping it real" or jerking your neck around from side to side.  People tend to reject when "keeping it real" is positive or sincere.  Recently, I had apologized for some wrong thinking & behavior, towards someone who I once considered a friend, just to realize that they still haven't moved passed the mistakes I made.  That hurt enough- but to see two others who were in the exact same boat with me, behaving the same way, now acting as if they're all best friends-- and as if they never said an ill word, made a snide remark, or a judgement about her. Hmm... How real is that? At least I was real enough to admit I did dirt, and real enough to admit that I would change. 

   I guess that's where the biggest problems lie, all the way around now... That people only seem to genuinely care about what you can do for them;  The minute you can't help them, all the sudden, they don't know you... It's on to the next... it's as if you never meant anything to them.  I wasn't raised to be flighty with my affections.  I wasn't taught to say things I don't mean.  It was ingrained in me that being wishy-washy was one of the most insecure & disloyal things to be; and that if you ever loved someone on any level, there are certain things you don't let happen to them, regardless of the status of your relationship (i.e. I Corinthians 13:4-8  " always protects...")  For me, it's not easily turned off... so it sucks when it seems that loyalty, consistency & authenticity seem to be ways of the past.  I long for the days when someone says, "I love you", and I know they truly mean it..."  I miss the days when friends could have a fight & the ability to make up without residual arguments and bitterness.  I want people's words to be genuine again, and their actions to follow suit... 



  1. i love the way you write :) you have always been one of the most beautiful people i know,both inside and out,natch! i hate to hear about you getting treated badly because you are THE most loyal person i know. out of all the girls we hung out with you were the only one there for everyone day in and day out. i adore you sweetie!

  2. Thank you!! That is the sweetest thing, EVER! I'm so blessed & lucky to have people like you who have my back ;0)