Thursday, September 22, 2016

True-Life Snippet on Common Racism

    The sad thing about racism, is that it is often cleverly disguised... For starters, people may not even realize how it has infiltrated our minds.  For example, a woman was telling me a story this week about a black man she & her mother encountered.  Her mother is elderly and she was really enthralled by his fancy car and asked to sit in it,  then asked to take it for a spin, once she sat in it... He was amused by her moxy, and decided to let her take it for a drive... in the midst of this, the lady tells me, "He was a black man who was probably a football player... and his girlfriend.. or significant other... " That caught me for a second.  Sure, I know that this woman didn't realize that what she said was a bit racist... but that's how racism gets the most innocent of folks.  To imply that "he must have been a football player"-- implies that he couldn't have had that fancy car, otherwise... and to assume that he was not married to the woman, also implies the stereotype.  I know it may be a bit of a reach, but that's exactly how it struck me.  When I think of non-black men with the similar physiques and fancy cars, I almost never thing "He must be a ball player"... I guess she asked the man if he was a ball player, and he said "No"... Interesting... [side eye]... Not that I have anything against ball players, I adore them-- my brother is one-- but it's just the implication that she only thought that because of his nice car.  It goes to show how little and insignificant details can build on the lies within racism.  It has been the state of our society that has made it hard for people of color, especially males, to succeed in much else than being a rapper or being some kind of ball  player...We just have to continue to prove that we're more than just "entertainment".  I don't hold any ill-will for the lady who told me this story-- but it's just evident how easily manipulated people are into believing things about others they don't know.

Friday, March 4, 2016

From the Mouths of Babes...

     Hi Everyone! Are you fighting the Winter/Spring bugs, like me? I swear, I've been congested for the last month or so, now... But, I still missed writing to you all!  Actually, this blog was one I started a week ago, but was ill, so I am submitting it this week!  I hope you all are doing better with this season, than I am! ...
Because Kids are Hilarious, and this was so great...

....Speaking of seasons... this political season is one for the records... (see what I did there... you're welcome)... Although I know who I'm voting for, I'm not happy with our selection of candidates this election year... Most of all, it's frightening that anyone thinks that Donald Trump would make a great or even a decent  president... I didn't like the man before he decided to run, so if he does win, it'll be a sad day for our country... At the end of the day, Trump is only out for himself. I believe he feigns love for America. I believe that he justifies his behavior as "acts of passionate patriotism", but it's really a guise so that people will accept his brashness, his rudeness, his childishness, and his self absorption with thinking he his better than anyone else. It's all done for shock value. His whole campaign has been eclipsed by his shocking & crude remarks, putting others down, and bullying those who don't agree with him. Aside from all the actual political issues, do you really need a president who is divisive and off-putting?  Yes, he's a successful business man, but he also has lost a lot of businesses, as well. Do you really want a president who lacks compassion and tact? Do you really want a president to offends his colleagues? Think of him meeting with the Board of Nations-- how well is that going to go over? I hope his handlers are ready, because they'll be earning their paychecks in a serious way.... And as most presidents, go, do you really think he's going to uphold his promises to America? I don't think so... I think Trump just wants this as a status instrument for Trump. I think he will make some changes, but they'll be brash and "big moves" just to say he was doing something.  If he wins and does a phenomenal job, I will eat my words, but as of now,  I'm disgusted that he's running for president, and I will be even more so, if he wins.

The realest Beyonce Post, yet... 

     While I don't always agree with Beyonce's way of thinking or her music, I have to say that this video was a much needed expression for what's going on today.  While I didn't actually care for the video, (because, based on the lyrics she was pretty much basically bragging about her money, sexuality, material things & her "Boss" status)-- I can say that I agree with her visually raising awareness & making a stand behind the injustices of police brutality and other inequalities.

      I appreciate what Mark-E says in this screen shot, because what we need is for people of other races to come together & realize that we're not mad because you're white.  I can't speak for everyone, but I don't hate white people at all.  What I hate, is the inequality that is vehemently displayed in America, and no one seems to understand how "real" it is for minorities.  My dad is Bajan... I can recall a time in the not-so-distant past where he was made fun of on countless occasions at work.  They discredited his work, they made crude cardboard signs calling him "Pedro" and posted them around the work site, they made fun of his accent.  Yes, America, racism is still a "thing"... and instead of trying to eliminate it by providing information, and making these kinds of  behavioral connections (the Mark-E post) people get defensive and want to go tit-for tat.  They want to say things about other incidences where a minority assaulted a white person and it didn't make headlines. Or about people "working hard and getting an education"-- when for so long (and still for some) a lot of minorities weren't afforded the same opportunities to gain that education, either be it from their own environmental or financial statuses... And let's face it, since the Penal system is barely reforming anyone, so many are getting lost in the system for lack of being able to earn an honest living, after being incarcerated (jobs, environment, etc...)

        What people are mad about is the infrequency and injustice of the penal system. The law should generally behave the same for everyone. If the system were fair, there wouldn't be such a stark contrast between the races in jails & prisons.  Don't think that the people in suburbs and in the country aren't getting into as much trouble as the folks in "the hood".  It's just that they aren't getting stopped or caught as often; being from the suburbs, I know this to be true.  It's about assigning labels to people that they did not earn.  I can't tell you how many times I've been "complimented" for speaking eloquently... or even been called "ghetto" (which, I'm far from ghetto)... simply because I'm black.  I think it's irresponsible for people not to realize that racism is alive & rampant.  People want to call what's been going on "Race-baiting"-- which is an easy an convenient excuse to knock people down when they stand up for themselves, the injustices of America, and their rights. [But to be clear, there has been some race-baiting, especially around this election] It could be me, but I've never seen people post placating posts or shaming post about people sex-baiting.  The LBGTQ community has always been very adamant and vocal about injustices done within their community, and I don't see nearly as many folks claiming that people are "grandstanding" or "sex-baiting", or to be told to "get over" the deaths that have occurred because of their lifestyle.   Sure, there is opposition and different struggles there, but it's not received in the same way as when someone is accused of race-baiting.  The black community needs more of it's influential people & leaders to stand up and say that police brutality, law discrimination, profiling, and stereotypes need to end.

    This is not a new thing.  Civil Rights have gone on for decades and for some reason it's been a super-slow progression.  Most people, in my opinion, are not racist.  I think most are either ignorant or apathetic.  Many people are not outraged, because they don't care to venture outside of their box, their crowd, or their culture... others don't know where to start and just haven't been exposed to much diversity.  If you're not going to take the time to learn about your neighbor, then of course you're not going to care what happens to them.  I don't think that white folks today should have to pay for "slavery"... However, the problem is that certain ideals, laws, mentalities were birthed even from then and were not overturned when the black man or minority was named an "equal".  It's a mixed up situation... and what America needs the most is to stop getting so defensive about it, pull your head out of the sand, and stand up for equal freedom for all.   Read the link.  These are African protesters of different races protesting in a way that strengthens their cause, instead of weakens it.

   Not to go all "Queen Latifah" on you, but we need Unity.  We need everyone to stand up & say what's been going on is wrong.  People of all races need to make it known that they don't agree with it.  The sad part is, so much of this opposition has been fueled by the fact that we have a black president.  There has always been racial tensions, but I think, for some reason, people started taking it closer to the vest when they realized that race issues become a day-to-day occurrence for them.  The sad part is, many of us have experienced far more day to day. It's about time it stops.

It's not funny, because... 

     I'm seriously sick of people making light of people who are overweight or obese, especially since most of the people who make the ugliest comments don't/have never struggled with weight issues; the condition of their waistline has nothing to do with any real effort they have put forth for a "healthy lifestyle" (thin/skinny people). As a person who has been on both sides of the coin, where I have both achieved significant weight loss, and been  overweight it's very annoying. It's interesting how people have so many judgmental things to say about people who need to lose weight, yet they don't have to work for their own bodies.

      Don't get me wrong, most of the times they are right about people needing to lose weight, but who are they to make any moral judgments on their character or tell anyone about how they need to "make better choices" when so many of those same folks don't eat right or exercise. They, themselves are not making "those choices".  They just happen to have better metabolisms.for whatever reason.  They feel that  someone's weight seems to give them free license to say nasty things about them online;  calling them names, being intentionally cruel and heartless. Its really sad, especially when the target is a child.

   All I'm saying is that they don't need to be ridiculed, disrespected, and dehumanized simply because of their weight-- especially by folks who simply just "got lucky" genetically.  Being overweight/obese is one of the very few qualities that people think is still ok to publicly shame or bully.  It's sick.   I find that most people who actually do live that way, don't have the time to go rounds with others online about "fat folks".  Many of them (especially if they do struggle with weight) actually have real concern & compassion.  Next week, it could be people with overbites... People with curly hair... people with thin lips... People are just so ugly, and I'm so sick of it.

     Aside from the comments, the video was kind of funny-- considering the fact that we know he was ok, in the end. No- I don't think the lady was a bad adult for not realizing how low he had fallen out of the sling or how scared he was.  But I think it's sad that the disparaging comments (on the original post) about the boy wouldn't have been made, if the boy were slim.  I wonder if he were thin, how many people would've made such demoralizing comments.  How many would've been more concerned about his safety, than his waistline... It's sad.  

Friday, February 12, 2016

Just One of Those Weeks...

      It's been another crazy week, full of ups and downs and lots of twists and turns.  I'm blessed to have been able to maneuver it all!  Here's what's been going on this week...

'Cause I love my dogs immensely...

     This week, I had time to reflect on how purely lovely and how rich our pets make our lives.  They love you so unconditionally, and half the time they don't ask for more than just a pat on the head and a belly rub (Roman is greedy with the belly rubs, but it's still not too much to give, lol).  I've had pets in the past, but these two are my absolute favorites and hold an extra-special place in my heart.  Both of them have done things that just have me cracking up with joy and have brightened my days beyond measure.  I pray one day that they'll know just how much they mean to us, and I hope that there is not a day that goes by that they don't feel loved and happy to be apart of our family.  

                                           Bandit                             Roman

 Sometimes I be like...

      We've all had these times... One of the things I hate most in life is being patronized.  Sometimes it just takes so much strength to hold back your true feelings or your true reactions when people try to sugar-coat a situation or use others to do their dirty work.  I think the more this happens, the more you have to re-evaluate your associations, you know?  I'm a believer in tactfully saying what needs to be said and exactly the way you mean it.  If there is any confusion, you can apologize and try to clarify.  People make things far more complicated than need be, and at times, being patronizing is the result of folks who don't have the gall to say what they really want to say... Something to think about...

Are you Team Marissa Jade or Team Brittany????

                    Marissa Jade Fiore                                           Brittany Fogarty

     Have you been watching Mobwives??? It's totally one of my guilty pleasures.  I've always loved stories about the mob & gangstas.  Even though a lot of that live revolves around crime, there is a huge portion of it that revolves around family values and things I respect like Loyalty, Family, Love, Support, and busting someone's face if they mess with your family (ha ha).  I find myself being torn between who's "side" I'm on, when it comes to these women.  I find Brittany Fogarty a bit childish and petty at times.  But her "mentor" is Drita, who I have a lot of respect.  I think a lot of the crew has been passing off their own issues on Drita and making her the scapegoat for a lot of the things that have gone wrong in the group.  I notice that people like to quickly pass the buck if it means they don't have to really deal with reality.  I want to like Marissa, but she, too comes off a little petty and a lot shallow.  She's gorgeous, and she knows it. Unfortunately, I find that she likes to rely a little more on her "pretty" than to cash the checks her mouth writes.  I like that she's not afraid to confront someone in a civil manner before things go crazy; however, I wouldn't go out of my way to cause trouble or to be a debbie downer (which she tends to do).  What I like about Marissa Jade, though, is that she seems to know exactly who she likes & can peg exactly what it is she's feeling when people are acting funny.  We'll see who gets rocked on upcoming episodes... It's a toss up for me!

Well- That's it for me this week! Take Care! Leave Comments, Subscribe!!!! (I know I'm bossy, lol) 


Friday, January 29, 2016

Seriously... Who Cares?

   It's been an exhausting week!  I think most of this week, however, has been me trying not to have a bad attitude about other people's Bad Attitudes, lol.  It's amazing some of the things that can alter your mindset.  I try not to them get to me; try to be like, Seriously? Who Cares??? But that's not me. I'm working on it! 

Here's what's happening:

Internet... What Would We Do Without it?

    It's crazy how excited I was in 2004 to have a Satellite Laptop... Now, it's all a hoax, lol.  In 2004, there wasn't such a huge cache on "Data plans"-- Either you had it, or you didn't... and MOST people didn't secure it.  Now, everyone has their Wi-Fi password protected, so it doesn't matter if you have a Satellite Device.  It's so funny how fast we move!

Kanye vs. Wiz Khalifa

      Seriously? Who cares?  I will never understand why celebrities and semi-celebrities will make far more than doctors, teachers, and social workers... They're whole situation is messy, messy, messy and it's about time people stopped caring so much about the Kardashians & their minions...  It's amazing how many articles I see about them in a day-- yet Almost ALL the comments are begging for the media to stop saturating our social networks and news feeds with anything Kardashian related... But over & over again, here we are... The Kardashians, Kanye & affliates are the folks we love to hate, apparently...

Just when I thought Dove Couldn't Get Any Better... 

   Can I just say... these are amazing.  I don't usually buy a lot of candy (especially not in large quantities) but I LOVE Dove Chocolates... I bought this Red Velvet Swirl, by mistake.  Believe me- if I knew it was Red Velvet, I would've passed... But this... THIS is amazing.  They tasted like delicious caramel and cream!  Definitely try some!

To Love Culture is to RESPECT Culture.... 

    I was watching PBS, and caught part of this show the Peregrine Dame with Rachel Parsons.  The show was interesting. Rachel travels through different countries and does video documentary of her experiences.  When I tuned into the show, Parsons was enjoying the nightlife of South Africa.  She sat in on a Rastafarian drum circle at a local night club.  She had to be asked several times not to film.  In my opinion, Parsons broke one of the cardinal rules about culture-- you must respect the wishes of other cultures when they allow you to partake in their customs and traditions. I think, in general, other cultures are gracious when it's obvious that you're a foreigner, but when they ask you not to do something in respect for their culture, it's important not to be irreverent.  I was disgusted that Parsons had to be asked 3 times not to film the drum circle.  She was free to film private interviews, but the leaders of the drum circle asked not to be filmed.  Parsons goes to the restroom to film her reaction, and basically says, "They don't want to be filmed because there is a huge cloud of marijuana smoke hovering over the drum circle"-- so basically accusing them of not wanting to be filmed due to their drug activity.  That may be the truth- but she still shouldn't have had to been asked 3 times not to film-- then when emerged from the restroom, once again, she tried to film. She filmed a little bit longer before someone else asked her, once again, to stop filming.  This type of arrogance and disregard is one of the reason why so many other countries don't like Americans.  At times, [some] Americans have this entitled & unflattering ability to think that everyone else needs to conform to our standards, wishes, customs, and whims.  I have the good fortune to have been born into a family with a lot of cultural diversity, so I try to be as respectful as possible.  One of the musicians in the drum circle was explaining how the drumbeats were "messages" being sent between villages in older times. Although I was offended by Rachel Parsons' attitude towards those in the drum circle- she did have a very interesting documentary.  I think I still may try to check out more of her shows!

Channing Tatum Gave Me Life as Beyonce...

   The video Says it all!  He's quickly becoming one of my favorite performers.  I used to think, 'Oh, he's just another pretty face'... but Some of his parts (not particularly this one) have really shown some range.  I love his face when Beyonce comes out to Knight him... Or Queen him?  Not sure what it's called when Beyonce gives you props for impersonating her... I'll think on that...

Love This Song...

   I'm taking a chance on this video, because I'm pulling it from Youtube without watching it-- but I just LOVE this song!  It's cute and catchy- and a little bit of a different sound than a lot of the songs we have been hearing.  Another Favorite I love... (and I can't believe I'm saying this in real life)... is Justin Bieber's Love Yourself.  If you didn't know better, you would think that it was an encouraging message... but no... He's basically saying F*** You... and it's ok, lol.

Adele is my New Best Friend...

    I was listening to the radio one day, when I kept hearing about "Adele" on James Corden's Carpool Karaoke segment... After watching this 14minute segment, I have decided that Adele is someone I'd definitely want to be friends with! She's so cute & funny.  Maybe it's the stark contrast from her music or photoshoots promoting her latest album that has me thrown.  Usually shes' very mono... Monochromatic colors- simple... Plain. Serious... But seeing Adele just be "Adele Adkins" was definitely a new insight. After watching this hilarious segment & enjoying some of her jokes, I realized that Adele could easily be my new best friend!  I hope in future albums she gets to show more sides of herself.  I love her music, but she is beginning to be Taylor Swifted... People are starting to really relate to here solely because of her "break up" ballads, etc.  We all know that the best art comes from pain, but time to change it up, Adele! The jig is up! you're a fun girl!!

That ends this week's blog! 
 Because I'm done. :)

Have a great weekend! Take care! 


Friday, January 22, 2016

I'm Convinced... People Just Want to be Mad and Fight...

Hello Everyone!
    Welcome to another glimpse of what's been going on in my life this week/Month!! I know it may not be as exciting for you to read, as it is as imperative that I write, but hey- if you enjoy it as well, that's awesome!  This has been a rough week, but an interesting one, at that...

Here's What's Been Goin' On:

I'm Convinced... People Just Want to Be Mad and Fight... 

       I guess I'm feeling a little nostalgic, at the moment, in regards to my worldview.  I wish things were like they used to be, in the fact that if people wanted to see change, they'd be active participants in trying to be the change they desired, instead of just getting online and angrily fighting and offending people.  I'm not one to put my head in the sand and ignore things that I'm passionate about- but at the same time, in 2016 there is SO MUCH to be passionate about!  It's passion overload, I believe.  I feel like part of the problem is that [with social media & other online resources] people are almost "forced" to have opinions about EVERYTHING/ things where they ordinarily would have zero interest!!  It happens to the best of us, as well.  I even found myself chiming in on a post about the Oscars Boycott, and I don't give a flip about the Oscars, and wouldn't have watched them anyway... Of course, behind almost every issue are layers of issues.  and of course THAT is where all the arguments and opinions come into play. People make ignorant comments, and then before you know it, you're in a tirade over something some idiot said online that had nothing to do with the contents of the post.  People also don't stick to the topics at hand.  Instead of debating or voicing their opinion about [said topic] they call folks names, take personal shots at each other, and make grandiose generalized statements as if they were emphatic truth.  People make low blows about people's spelling and intelligence, just because they disagree with them.  And in 2016, you can get into fights with people and have your feelings hurt by a whole plethora of topics and causes.  On top of that- people don't always think before they type.  I mean- the post [usually] isn't going anywhere... why not take time to consider others' views?  Why not take time to get your point across without sounding like a one-dimensional moron?

    As I started to say- I'm not one to put my head in the sand- however now that everyone and every "thing" is so accessible, it's easy to get caught up in unnecessary drama.  I've also found that people don't know how to argue.  There is no "middle ground" around disagreeing with someone without being labeled some kind of blanketed bigoted slur. Rarely is there any credit given to points that you may have in common, as well.  It doesn't matter if you're talking about politics, race, religion, sexual preference, marital status, pop culture, or what Starbucks puts on their cups during the Holiday Season-- people are so ready to quickly disrespect another person. There is no shortage of Internet Courage online.  And if you've found a person who is willing to spar with you, inevitably someone will give up and say "Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree..." That may be true, in every instance... but the end result is that there is not very much resolution or change to the actual cause.

     To add to the tensions, are the droves of band-wagoners who just repeat what others have said.  The thing about our society, today, is that all of these "topics" are stirred up all at once.  If you're online, you can't get away from media outlet after media outlet posting about this or that.  We also love to be offended without giving consideration to what others (who feel differently) may be going through. I love social media. I love how quickly news travels and the entertainment value... But at what cost? Quickly, people are becoming more basic and one-dimensional than ever.  You can't have a textured existence without taking some blows [figuratively] for your opinions/position/ beliefs.  The easiest way to get along with people online, is not to have any integrity, unique opinions, or morals, and to just "agree" with everyone.  In order for that to happen, you have to learn these entitled, cliched, vanilla responses that basically tell people that they don't have to be accountable for anything, ever... People think that we're becoming a regressive society, because there's a huge decline in values-- Yes-- that is true, but I also think one of the catalysts of this, is that pre-internet, there were only a handful of things in which to be angry or passionate.  In that time of our lives, News & Media had us on a slow-drip IV of information.  Sure, things happen, but not all at once... NOW, the flood gates are open, and we're hit with millions of ideas at one time.  I miss the days when my head wasn't so crowded...

Just a thought.

I'm Crushing on.... Robbie Magasiva

   Robbie Magasiva is a Samoan actor from New Zealand, who I've recently had the pleasure of viewing on a new (to me) show on Netflix called Wentworth (more on Wentworth later).  Magasiva plays a correctional officer at a women's prison in Melbourne, Australia, who goes through a lot in order to find truth and purpose behind the murder of his wife Govenor Meg Jackson (Govenor = Warden in Australian Prison).  I've already seen seasons 1-3 (all there is-- season 4 coming soon!) and I really like his character.  Well, for one, he's hot!  He has these intricate tribal Samoan tattoos and (for lack of a better word) Swagger about him that I really dig.  On top of that, he has a likable personality.  He goes through a lot in the first 3 seasons (especially after the murder of his wife) and I love that his character shows range.  There are times that he's ultimately a jerk, times where he's sweet and compassionate, and times where you really feel empathetic towards him.  Overall "Officer Jackson" is the kind of Correctional Agent you want to be around... should you find yourself in the unfortunate predicament of being incarcerated...

I'm obsessed with... Wentworth!

     Did I shamelessly binge watch this show, just like I shameless binge-watch other shows on Netflix?  Absolutely.  If you love crime dramas and suspense, then you NEED to check out Wentworth!  Because it's human nature to compare shows that first air within the same decade, I'd like to give you my thoughts on Wentworth vs. Orange is the New Black.  I personally like to judge each piece of work on its own merit, but because I don't know all of you who are reading this blog, I hope comparing it to OITNB will be the easiest way to get my points across. Wentworth in it's own right is a hard-hitting drama about a woman (Bea Smith) who goes to prison for trying to kill her abusive husband.  It's gritty and daring, with both light and dark moments.  It does share the same flashback format as OITNB, where it shares about her life before she is locked up.  Many shocking things happen throughout the series that make you consider whether Bea Smith is just a true survivor or if she is a criminal who is evolving, after crossing lines she shouldn't have crossed... or both.  One thing I love about Wentworth, is that I like Bea Smith throughout all 3 seasons, flaws and all.  In OITNB, I eventually lose respect for Piper (as I quickly did in the book).  Bea Smith is a real badass.  She does not wallow in her pity or blame others for her poor choices.  She owns all her mistakes & decisions and is a leader from the start.  And although OITNB is not necessarily a "comedy" it is far more comical than Wentworth.  Wentworth is definitely more serious and dramatic. There is also a little more of a balance between learning about both the guards' lives and the prisoners.  So- if you love gritty, nailbiting suspense, check out Wentworth on Netflix!

Disclaimer:  I'm not responsible for your binge-watching... but if you'd like a tip, watch Wentworth in Subtitles!  They have thick Australian accents and use lots of slang. 

What I'm Loving... Cinnamon Bun Oreos

      I'm not one to buy a lot of sweets-- but my office is... So occasionally, someone will bring in something "new" to try.  If you've got a little wiggle room in your New Year's Diet (which we ALL should have some wiggle room, lol) you've GOT to try these!  The smartest thing to do, would be to do exactly what Jen in my office did... Buy them for your Office mates-- that way, you can try them without devouring the entire carton all at once.  They are super-delicious!  Cinnamon Bun Oreos have that perfect balance between creamy frosting & a warm spicy cinnamon!  Give them a try!

Well- that concludes the end of this blog! Stay tuned & comment when you wanna! Love you guys!



Friday, January 8, 2016

Happy New Year!!! 2016"

   It's a new year! I can't believe it's already 2016!  I didn't really do much for New Year's Eve, this year. I cuddled up in bed with my dog and binge-watched American Horror Stories, lol. I'm suprised that I haven't written about my love for American Horror Stories-- but I digress... I'm going to be trying a sightly different format for my blogs, as well-- we'll see how that goes.  Here's what's been going on so far, this year! 

    First of all, can I just say that I'm not a fan of New Years... There's this daunting morose feeling that you're reminded of, at the end of each year.  Personally, the feeling is more of an "I am not where I thought I'd be, in my life..." type of feeling.  I'm filled with the anxiety of uncertainty. Obviously, God has full awareness and control over the things that happen in my life, but so many times I find myself wondering what the plan is or why is any of it [the things that happen in my life] relevant... It sucks even more when you feel like you're cut out of a certain cloth, but being forced into a different one.  It's like sewing a piece of parachute material onto a quilt... It all does the trick, but one of the squares just doesn't fit.  Nonetheless, there is some room for optimism, so I'm not going to negate the fact that 2016 could be full of new exciting experiences.  I just hope that this year, will be a great year.  I hope that this year, I will feel like I've made some kind of progress. So many times it just feels like Groundhog Day- and I'm tired of that feeling.

... On Great Movies

       This movie FAR surpassed my expectations on the funny meter!  I thought it would be funny, and at times it was a bit predictable- but I NEVER thought I'd be busting out laughing several times throughout the movie.  The lines in this movie are so clever and spot on-- one being, "I think we need a look that is not so much Forever 21, but more Suddenly 42..."     Basically- the plot of the film is about the two Ellis sisters who have to divvy up their belongings, and take what they want before their parents sell their childhood home.  They get there and unveil so much of their history.  One sister, (Poehler) realizes that she has had a very limited life, because she spent so much of it taking care of everyone else.  She's envious of her sister's (Fey) more colorful experiences, and the two decide to throw a  huge party to commemorate their days of youth.  Upon throwing the party- they realize that so many of their friends have fallen into the same " over 30yrs rut" and basically have skewed senses of what's "fun".  So- the girls campaign for their friends to let loose and really turn their party into a rager! So many funny things happen when their friends take the bait, and through the chaos, both women learn more about themselves.  Over the holidays, I was able to see a couple of movies, and one of the things I haven't felt in a long time was that "I've got to own that movie" feeling.  Well, those were probably the first words I said while leaving the theatre.  This movie is a must-see! 

...Just Tacky

    I'm more or less just venting about a situation that happened this past week.  I went to a local steakhouse to have dinner with a friend.  The food was great, the conversation was great, and the service was pretty good.  As I was leaving, and my friend and I parted ways- I noticed that my car wouldn't start.  I was pretty sure it was the battery- but with my car being a bit older, it could've been the alternator or starter, as well.  So, I asked around in the parking lot to see if anyone had jumper cables. No one did- so I went inside to ask if anyone had some.  My friend had some, came back, and was waiting outside- but she had a lot of things in her trunk, and would have to dig them out if no one else had any.  Well, the hostess and her brother (who happened to work there and whom was also our server) came out to try to help.  It was pretty cold, but they both still came out.

       Well, the first thing I realized was that her brother didn't know where the battery was.  He was saying, "Oh- I think it's on the other side... "  I was the one who had to show him where the battery was.  So, he hooked up the car (in an improper sequence) and after a few seconds, the jumper cables started to smoke.  My car still was not charged, either.  So they took them off, and shrugged it off, basically saying "It didn't work", and went inside.  So- I sat in my friends car debating on whether or not to call my insurance Roadside Assistance- and while I was on the phone calling them, the hostess comes back out and told me that her Jumper Cables were now burned out, and she would like $10 to help towards the cost of new cables.  I will give her credit that she was polite-- but I couldn't help to think how tacky it was that she did that.  For one- I wasn't the one to hook up the jumper cables.  It was her ill-equipped brother. I believe he put the clamps on backwards, which caused the smoking.  I know for sure that he put both clamps on the dead car then both clamps on the live car.  I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it-- but it seems feasible that if you don't put them on the way you're supposed to, you could cause damage.  I also thought I saw a spliced cord before they even put it on the car, but I wasn't close enough to tell.  I have no way of knowing if their jumper cables were damaged beforehand or how they knew they were damaged afterwards... It's not as if they tried to jump another car between the 10 mins they left me and the time she walked her behind out to ask me for money for the "replacement" of her jumper cables.

      Overall- I did pay the girl, because had I had cash on me, and had using her jumper cables worked, I would've tried to give her a few dollars.  But I don't feel responsible for her jumper cables, to be honest-- especially if I wasn't the one who hooked them up.  And it's funny that I was the one who hooked up my friends, and miraculously, we were able to get my car up and going (with the help of a passing gentleman who was able to knock some rust off of them, and get it going faster... By the way- he wasn't standing there with his hand out...).  I paid the girl, though, because in the heat of the moment, I said I would-- and at the end of the day, it would weigh on my conscience that she would think I screwed her over.  I don't want to owe anyone anything-- and chances are [with my luck] the moment I decided not to pay her would be the moment I keep seeing her or her brother, everywhere, lol.  

     I just feel like this was a no-win situation for me.  Had I not paid her, I would've felt like I screwed someone over (when I know I didn't) and now that I have paid her, I feel somewhat hustled.  But at least I gave sort of a compromise.  I did give her the money, but I also told her that it was her brother  who hooked up the cables the wrong way to my car, that caused her jumpers to burn out.  He owes her the rest of the money to replace her cables.  But at the end of the day, an argument could be made for both sides.  Had I never needed a jump, she wouldn't have burned out jumper cables... But had he put them on properly, she also wouldn't have burned out jumper cables. I know after today, I will be over it-- but I just hate when people do tacky things that I wouldn't think to do. SMH.  

What would you have done?  I put it to a poll in my office, and it's about split about whether folks would've given her the money, etc... I'm interested in your input! 
....on premature emotional Solicitation...

      I hate when people try to squeeze sentiments out of you.  I'm not the type of person to provide validation, at request.  I give plenty of validation, on my own, without a man begging me for it.  I met a guy before Christmas, and I'm not sure about him.  I asked him to contact me after the holidays, when I have more free- time.  I have agreed to go out with him on Saturday- but I'm not really looking forward to it.  For one, there has been at least 4 times where he's tried to get validation from me, prematurely. For instance, the day after I met him, he texted me, "Hey- how're you doing... Did you think about me?"--- Um, Fool, I don't know you.  What is there to think about??? They he asked again, in  a text message, last week.  Again- I don't know you... We haven't been out, yet... What is there to think about??? Also, he seems to want my time prematurely, as well.  He seemed to cop an attitude when I told him of the times I was free to hang out.  This fool had the nerve to tell me that, "He was under the impression that I would have no plans after the holidays..." Really??? You just thought you were going to swoop in and completely take over my personal life?  He acted like I "owed" him time.   I always have plans and I never implied that I wasn't going to be busy, and we don't have to go out if the times I can hang out don't work, you  know? After expressing that he thought I was a loser with no plans, he acted like he wasn't even reading my texts.  I was like, "I'm free Saturday afternoon & Sunday Evening".... and he replies with, "Don't you want to get to know me better?"  I'm sitting there baffled like, 'I thought that's what we were planning to do"--- He responded as if I said I wasn't going to try and fit him in...Smh.  These are the types of things that make me miss certain men in my life.  If I've quoted it once, I've quoted it a hundred times... "Once you've had it good, you can't go back to bs..."  It's the sad and unfortunate truth.  It's not that anyone wants to have BS-- but it's just sad that more men don't get it right without being absolute weirdos.

     So- I'm going out on the date to clear my conscience.  After the date, I can either keep up with our involvement, or let him know that I don't think we're compatible, and keep it moving.  I'm really not looking forward to it, but I am trying to keep an open mind.  Either way, at least I would've given him a real chance.

    I still remain optimistic about 2016, but it's gotten off to a weird start.  


Friday, November 20, 2015

It's All About Support...

    Welcome to the end of another week, guys! I've missed you! I hope you've had a few meaningful moments this week to reflect upon.  Check out to see some of the things I thought about this week! 

Favorite Laugh:  Lifty Bra

     To my super blessed sisters, you can totally relate!  Its just a biological fact. While I love having curves, it can be a real albatross to find proper undergarments that do the deed without making you look or feel uncomfortable... This meme made me laugh out loud!

Favorite Point:  Filters... Are they really helping?  

     I'm all about being supportive for things in which you truly believe... but... In this day in age where so many folks are in such a volatile state of mind... I don't know if it's wise to further expose yourself by placing all kinds of political filters on  your Social Media Photos, especially with National Terrorism running rampant.  I'm not about doing anything that will make me an unnecessary target, it's just not worth it. I was testing something, yesterday, and realized that Facebook-- where most of us think we're "Private" is lying to us.  We are not private to only our Friends list, like we think-- even with our accounts set to "Friends only" or "Friends of Friends", select posts are still available to view by strangers.  And not one person who is "social-media active" can say that they've never gotten a friend request from someone they didn't know.  I'm just saying-- in reality "Filters" are just that.  People feel empathy for a cause/incident, and jump on the bandwagon without really thinking about the harmful attention they could potentially be drawing to themselves.  You don't know who makes the filters, and who could be using them to track people... (I'm sure I sound like a conspiracy theorists... but I'm just saying...)

    At the very least, the filters become about "the filters", themselves, and not necessarily "for true support" of their causes. Truly being supportive involves doing something more than just changing your profile filter on social media... How about drumming up some kind of monetary support or doing something in memory of those who were taken? Even a small candlelight vigil shows a little more "support" than just following suit.  When Dylann Roof massacred those innocent souls at Emanuel A.M.E. in S. Carolina, I got a group together to send condolence cards to the church.  I encouraged others on my social media to do the same & provided the address.   Sure, there is always attention brought to a cause when someone uses a filter, but a lot of times it really doesn't go beyond that demonstration other than you're standing in "solidarity" with all your facebook friends...smh.

       I was talking to a co-worker about it, and she said, "Yeah, but you can't be running scared, either..."  I agree with that; If it's something you truly are passionate about, like your faith, your family, or your children, you should stand firm-- but again, there's no need for you to make yourself an unnecessary target, either.  It's the equivalent of "remembering to lock your car doors in a suburban neighborhood..."There more than likely is not eminent danger if you leave them unlocked-- but it's probably your best bet just to lock them, anyway.  Given that right now, we're fighting an "unknown enemy" who has no centralized location, it might just be a slightly safer option... and especially if you, yourself, would not be willing to fight or die for that cause.

       In 2015, it's probably a safe bet that you aren't going to be witch hunted for Equality or Gay Rights Beliefs, but when it has to do with real threats to your life, it might behoove you to be a little more cautious about what you post online.  Who knows what kinds of strategies for profiling these animals are using? We live in a sad & dangerous world, and people would be naive to think that terrorists and terrorists sympathizers are not lurking around in the USA. They could be your neighbor who just moved in, you don't know...  I just pray for everyone's safety-- and I hope that people will be begin to realize that they are not immune, just because we live in America- 9/11 should have taught us that.  We definitely live in a day and age where people are just quick to jump on a bandwagon and ready to believe their own reality, rather than what's happening in front of their faces... My heart goes out to Paris... I am saddened because of the all the indiscriminate killings in Syria... but we all need to take care of ourselves, as well.  Just stay smart and be safe, guys!

Favorite Song:   Black Magic by Lil Mix

     I ran into this video when I was looking for another video... It's one of those things that really irritates me, because it seems like they overplay the same 5 songs on the radio, continuously-- but occasionally they'll play a song you've never heard before... and when you want to find that song, you can't remember it... lol I mean- I like Adele's "Hello"-- but geez!! I hate that the radio has ruined another song for me... but this one, I thought was pretty cute & fun.  It's not the song I was looking for-- but I like Lil Mix and their upbeat Pop "Girl Band" music.  It's uplifting and can get you moving!

Favorite Gross Out:  Maryland Crab cake sandwich from Butter Cafe

   Today, I visited Butter Cafe.  They have a very eclectic menu, so I like to visit every now and then.  I absolutely love their Bagel & Lox!  I  love trying new foods... but today, I tried something that was sooo disgusting.  I tried the Maryland Crab Cake sandwich , and it disappointed me to the max. In hindsight, I probably should've sent it back, because it smelled like feet and tasted like straight up Buffalo A**! For one, it was flat like a pancake, so then you can also assume it was dry.  Then, it just had a strong fishy flavor.  I think I might be spoiled, because my dad makes the best... I mean, THE BEST... fish cakes I've ever tasted.  I had to ask for cheddar cheese to help mask the flavor, because I didn't have time to change my order to something else, since they took awhile with our food.  Never again, America... Never again...

Favorite APP:  Walk For a Dog by Wooftrax!

Every time you walk, we donate to your local animal organization.

      Since I’ve had Roman, I found out about an awesome new app!! It’s called “Walk for a Dog” by Wooftrax.  Basically, you add the free app to your phone, and it acts like a pedometer.  Every time you take your dog for a walk, you press “Walk” and it will record your time, pace,  and mileage etc…  Each time you walk, Wooftrax will donate to the shelter you’ve chosen to walk for (you can choose and change shelters as you wish).  Right now, Roman and I are walking for SICSA J He has to pay his dues!  Go to and check out this really cool app!  It's FREE and for a good cause! :)

Everyone- Have a great Weekend... Special Shout out to my friend DJ Complexx, Mike Epps!  Have a great birthday, special buddy!